I think every mom (and dad) at some point has looked at the house in disarray, heard the kids crying, been overwhelmed by a monstrous to do list, and felt they were in some way failing as a parent.
And if you ask me... that's a good thing.
It when we feel we have perfected something then we stop trying to improve and excel at it. So I think if you have never felt like you are failing as a parent, you probably are.
Parenting may come natural to many but being a "perfect parent" isn't natural at all nor is it normal. It's a learning process and perhaps it's actually impossible. But what is possible is to strive not for perfection but to be the best we can be and continue to learn as we go.
Parenting and motherhood is not something we can master. It's not supposed to be. There is no one way to be a mom. There is no one way for a child to behave, react, or respond. Knowing that, realizing that and understanding that you have to constantly change the way you approach things, adjust your perspective and reevaluate your situation means that, though you aren't "perfect", you are doing what you can do to be a good parent perfectly.
If we stopped and took a moment to analyze why we feel like we are failing or, at the very least, not doing everything we think we can or should then we would realize that, because we acknowledged that we don't know everything or we need to make a change, we are doing one of the most important things we can... accepting that we may need to improve and giving ourselves time to do that.
We are all trying to fix a problem or resolve an issue, no matter how minor, for the betterment of our family. You may be trying not to scold so much, or use your phone less, or cook healthier meal,s or cut out more time with your children. You may not have time in the day to clean the house, drop off and pick up kids at school and extra activities and still spend time with them. That's ok when you realize it and make a point to change it. Let's be honest... the dishes will be there tomorrow but your children and you will never have today to spend together again. Tomorrow it will be gone. Make the most of it while it is here.
Don't let what you think others opinions are effect you. They may not know that you made cookies with your child and did a craft before bringing her to the park to play and be active while you caught up on your emails on your phone rather than sit them in front of TV while you sequester yourself in your office to work. Who cares about what the playgroup thinks when you skip an activity with your toddler because you were chaperoning a field trip for your other child. It doesn't matter if a someone thinks your going for a Mom's Night Out means your kids are home, they don't know that your husband is spending some necessary quality time with your kids and you are recharging and rewarding yourself for all you do. People don't know your life and, though that may not stop them from judging you, it shouldn't matter and it should not effect how you judge yourself.
Don't waste your time on the things that aren't important... don't waste your time regretting what you didn't do or could have done or should have done differently. Take today as it is, realize that it may not be perfect but if you are doing the best you can, that is good enough. It's ok to be a parent that is good enough! You don't have to be anything more or less, just realize that you may feel like you are failing but just by feeling that way... you probably aren't. And that is when you can make the changes you need to make for the better!
So I made a quote. I'm sure someone has said it before. Maybe someone typed it up and put it on a pretty image and spread it all over the internet already. Maybe I'm not very original. But feel what I wrote to be true.
I feel like I am failing in some capacity at any given time and I don't let it get me down because I realize that only I have the power to change that. When you realize that you aren't perfect and you stop trying to be and you just do your very best you suddenly are as perfect a mom as can be expected. So keep thinking you are failing... just realize you are not.