Friendships

As kids, we made friends in the sandbox. In school, we make many more. The older we get, the more friends we gather. Yeah, there were those times when you hated your best friend and never wanted to see her again. But you know that many times you were BFF's the next day, or at least the next week. When we reach high school things seem to get a bit trickier. There are so many different branches with clubs, athletics, study groups, boyfriends, etc. Friends are everywhere. Then we graduate and scatter to colleges across the US, to branches of the military, to jobs and serious relationships. When you get married, most of your single friends slowly drift away. When you start having kids, your friends without kids drift as well.

Making mommy friends, for me, has been way harder than all of my other friendships. With all of the labels floating around these days, it seems like it makes it difficult to find friends with similar interests- that you won't get in fights on Facebook over. I've lost a lot of friends since I was little and don't remember hardly any of their names. When I went off to college, I lost contact with even more friends (some I've found thanks to Facebook). When I moved here 9 years ago, I had 1 friend who was single with no kids. I tried to make friends with my daughter's soccer moms but with 4 kids including a toddler and infant, I didn't fit in. I tried to make friends with my oldest daughter's dance team moms but again, having small kids set us apart. I finally found some wonderful friends after Googling "Tampa Moms." Then when my son went to kindergarten I struck gold. Between my website mommy friends and my new school friends I was having a blast. Some friends moved, some drifted away and some changed leaving us with nothing in common. Sometimes I find myself lonely.

I realized, today, how much I miss so many of the friends I lost when my son graduated 5th grade last year. We'd been friends for 6 years! I also realized how much I miss some of the other friends who have drifted away. Making friends is hard and keeping them is even harder. We change. We move. We drift. It's hard work to keep them going. Sometimes it's easier to let them go and sometimes it's worth it to fight- just like in a marriage.

Friends are a great asset. They are fun, they make you laugh, they make you cry, they piss you off, they are there for you and they desert you. Every once in a while we find some really good ones. And we hang onto them for dear life.