A Special Bond

In the late 1960's, my mom suffered two tragedies. First, her eight year old son was hit and killed by a teenage driver. Shortly after, her dad died of a heart attack. My mom and dad were devastated and their two daughters heart broken. My grandma, who lived in Indiana, was lost, alone, and incredibly sad to have lost her husband and only grandson. In 1973, my parents brought me home from their lawyer's office. My sisters conspired to not tell the social worker that I cried in fear of me being sent back. I brought joy and life back into the family. Just before my birth my grandma was on the verge of a breakdown. She was not doing well at all. My parents told her they were adop

I don't do a lot of things.

I read an article on Babble called 11 Things I Never Do as a Mom (read it here) by Chaunie Brusie and it got me thinking about the things I don't do. There are plenty of them. Of course there are a great many more thing that I do DO but there's many things that I DON'T DO. I am totally fine with not doing things. In fact, I'm really good at it. Some may call it a gift at prioritizing others may call it selective laziness. I call it doing the things that matter to me! In it she writes how people ask her "how she does it all" and she gives 11 things that she doesn't do which are: 1) Play with her kids 2) Cook dinner nightly 3) Iron. ever 4) Switch the laundry on time 5) Take regular dates with

Save the Play Dates!

Calling another mom to plan a play date for your child does not seem out the ordinary. Sure it is probably not the way we were raised but times are changing and the way we communicate is evolving. I recently discovered that a dad blogger posted his reasons for wanting to vanish play dates for children! I am against this idea. He argued that children who are involved in play dates lack the ability to be spontaneous or that the word "date" just gives parents the wrong idea. Here is why I am pro play date: 1. Play dates do not cause children to lack spontaneity: Kids on play dates are still free to choose the activities they play and how they play. They are free to build a forts, play dr

Three Steps to Communicating Effectively as a Parent

One of the most basic steps we work on as a family in therapy is communication. The benefits of being able to talk and grow as a family serve as a model for future relationships. By modeling communication skills parents can teach children and teens how to talk about feelings, opinions and more personal topics. 1. Listen: Learning to listen is difficult for most people. We tend to assume we know what the other person is going to say and we jump to conclusions in our head. Learning to be present oriented and just simply listen is a skill that will take practice. 2. Be positive: Do not attack, yell or lose your temper. This will get you nowhere fast. Talk calmly, with positive words and do

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